Friday, July 07, 2006

I am the world's worst archiver, having misplaced pretty much everything I have ever done that may have been of archival worth.

In fact I'm surprised that so many others throughout history, those who hadn't the benefit of modern technology, managed to save their creations at all. If Mozart hadn't been vigilant at the age of 6 and tidied his manuscripts away sensibly like a good little boy, modern civilisation would have been deprived of the pleasure of being able to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and think what a tragedy that would have been.

I, however, am in no danger of being mistaken for a good little boy. In fact I bear a passing resemblance to a rather larger bad woman, one that has lost any and every of her potential masterworks long ago; the only thing she has to offer to posterity being a travel rug stained with urine and cheap port, and a not unimpressive collection of plastic supermarket bags.

(This would of course, you could well point out, be all very well if one were Tracy Emin. While you may very well think that, a finely honed sense of fairness prevents me from slandering innocent incontinent drunkards by association.)

And so, after a moment of panic where I thought I'd left the proverbial cake out in the rain yet again (you know this cake - the one that took so long to bake and I'll never have that recipe again etc etc), I promptly whacked up a retrieved audio file on the Internet Archive under a Creative Commons license:

Auditory cake, saved from water damage *

If anyone is curious to know how the making of this (what can loosely be described as) 'music' involved the efficiency of a medieval bureaucratie francaise, lying, temporal dilation, subterfuge, misappropriation of property involving interstate air travel, monks, absence without leave, astrophysics, a game controller, collaboration, C++, a vow made to a senior Microsoft employee and a Christmas spent alone at the office… now that I am unemployed and legally beholden to noone I will happily give Dan Brown a run for his money by recounting this story on my blog. But only if asked. I am not accustomed to even getting out of bed unless I sense some sort of incentive or obligation.

* I was hoping to spice this link up with a suitable image of a green cake but google came up with this(!) For $1.25 I'd expect better graphic design from a 2 year old foot and mouth painter in a badly lit sheltered workshop. And what's that red triangle in the middle of the 'cake'? Is this not supposed to be a cake and not a work of constructivist abstraction? And furthermore, what the -? Gnn!@#$? This is possibly the strongest counterpoint to the internet self-publishing revolution I've ever seen. I am now seriously considering taking my audio file down.



At 2:33 am, Anonymous Melanie said...

And I have the accompanying video, somewhat quaintly on tape.
funny, it sounds remarkably like what it did in the cell, coming through my 2 speakers. A shame about the 5.1 surround.

At 11:55 am, Blogger Kipper said...

That recording you have M is mono - this is a different one in stereo, so it should sound much better - with headphones at least.

You don't happen to have a screenshot from that video, do you? I've characteristically misplaced my version of the tape...

At 12:15 pm, Blogger Kipper said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 12:19 pm, Blogger Kipper said...

Go here for a much higher quality .ogg version:


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home