Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Berlin is freezing and empty. Were all the people killed in the war? Did half the population bump their heads jumping over walls? Perhaps they all left last week when the weather turned to shit.

I suppose its all my fault because I'm too cheap to buy a travel guide. I went all the way to the central tourist office to load myself up with free schwag (you never need to buy a tourist guide in France), only to find that the tourist office (aptly named the "Info Shop") makes you pay for everything. So I've got this crappy piece of paper with a whole bunch of advertising and an inadequate map of central Berlin, for which I paid half the price of a kebab. The map covers some of Europe's most interesting tourist spots, such as several square kilometres of empty commercial real estate and some excellent wide open spaces offering unrestricted access to the local rain and wind attractions.

On the bright side, at least the local Turks know how to make a decent kebab. The Turks in France are a disgrace. I had to tell the son of a Turkish immigrant once what pide is.

Speaking of France, here are some pictures I took in London.

Recently de-institutionalised man plays air guitar for Jesus.

Punk isn't dead, just rebranded.

I was tempted to take a photo of the woman in front of me at airport security tasting her own breast milk, but I didn't want to cause widespread paranoia and get booted off the flight that I'd spent 3 hours queueing for. It's a shame I wasn't able to capture the moment because about a hundred passengers found it mildly amusing to watch.
Perhaps after the next terrorist attack, one in which someone manages to smuggle nitroglycerine internally, security will be upped yet another notch and we'll have the pleasure of watching men drink their own semen - an image that I would be more willing to risk my place on a flight for.


At 7:38 pm, Anonymous Mike said...

Nitroglycerin... Semen...

Sounds like a good recipe for a "blowing" job :)


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