Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I often remark privately upon the exclusive nature of my blog's readership. You, loyal reader, are one of a very select handful of people, mostly game developers, all of the highest calibre. You are most welcome.

Some of you are privy to highly sensitive industry information, and if you send it my way you do so because you feel, as I do, that some truths cannot and should not lie hidden: truths so important and profound that they can only be revealed by one as such as I... yes I, a fearless, career-less industry insider determined to shine the illuminating light* of truth upon the world of game development in order that it be cleansed of lies, half-truths and iniquities.

Sarah: "I have some material for your blog!"

Oh good egg, some exclusive gossip about the projected size and shape of Lara Croft's tits in the next Tomb Raider, perhaps (because if anyone would have the low down skinny on Lara's cleavage it would be Sarah).

Or news that Eidos marketing have just fired that shopgirl and replaced her with a talking robot (I suggest an AIBO).

Sarah: "Monkey jockeys!"

Excuse me?

Sarah: "Monkey jockeys! MonkEEEES! Put them on your blog NOW!"

Er, OK.

Monkey jockey from 1930s greyhound racing event

From this somewhat cryptic interchange with Sarah I can only conclude that Eidos are developing new IP in the form of a third person arcade monkey-jockey dog racer.

I must confess to being somewhat flattered that Sarah has given me a free and frank heads-up on an unanounced title like this. I would like to know more about the game's key features, but until Sarah leaks me a sell-sheet I can only speculate.

To start with, I would like to know:

1) Is there a working title for this game? (Any thoughts on Monkey-Jockey-Doggy Friends?)

2) Will there be minigames featuring monkey-on-dog interspecies fucking?

3) Awww... Why not?

4) Is this Eidos's NASCAR killer?

* Yes I know, but it's Tautology Tuesday, isn't it!



At 8:30 pm, Blogger Ben.H said...

Monkey Jockey Tycoon!
Sim Monkey Jockey!
Grand Theft Monkey!

Monkeys make everything better. Except a skin lesion.


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