Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Not to be outdone by Ubisoft, EA's Matthew Perry spoke at Siggraph about the two main reasons for employing more women in game development.

"Firstly, in game design and production, women are more in touch with their emotions and a key driver for gaming is to have emotionally believable characters."

"Secondly, in project management, women are more attuned to equity in working practices, especially work-life balance."

By way of

I kicked an emotionally believable hole in an office wall once when someone lost my data. Does that count? Would EA hire me for my female-ability?

Well, it's worth a shot. After all, as one of my industry friends wisely remarked to me on facebook recently, "oh for gods sake [Kipper], don't be so ridiculous. You're never going to get anywhere if you don't go for it."

Matthew Perry
Talent Acquisitions Manager
Electronic Arts Europe

Dear Mr Perry,

Please find enclosed my CV in application for the positions of Token Female (Junior) (Job Ref #55682) and Mother (Job Ref #4587).

My previous career-limiting experience in the role of Token Female (Junior) has allowed me to gain a solid foundation in agile emotional development methodologies, including Extreme Procreating and Scrum project iterations based on my menstrual cycles.

For the role of Mother also, I feel (deeply) that I am eminently suited. With regard to work-life balance, as it is my natural role as a woman to devote my best years to the productivity and well-being of men, there is nothing that gives me more pleasure than to wipe the bottoms of social-developmentally delayed man-boys and send them home in time for dinner.

Finally, as a woman who's position and salary expectations will naturally be less than that of my male peers, be assured that I would pose little or no threat to your executive management team.

I look forward to your response with graceful feminine anticipation.



P.S. Please also find included my game development showreel.

Showreel running sheet:
item: 001 duration: 5''30s
Footage of me weeping inconsolably during movie featuring Leonardo di Caprio*

item: 002 duration 2"45s
Footage of me throwing Wii controller through TV in fit of PMS-induced hysteria

item: 003 duration: 12 hours
Me stroking 251 kittens in succession**

item: 004 duration: 23s
Me selecting healthy low-fat pizza option for dev team

item: 006 duration: 45"52s (including hair and makeup)
Me posing for PR photograph standing 3 feet in front of team

item: 005 duration: 21"45s
Me winning over scarewy boss to better hours and conditions in mere minutes with well-reasoned argument and tight top

* I looked hard for a game designed by Stephen Spielberg with a Level 17 but, astonishingly, there doesn't seem to be one yet.

** I am the Annabel Chong of kittens.


At 12:31 am, Blogger Ben.H said...

Thank you for saving us the effort of making the Annabel Chong joke.


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