Sunday, December 09, 2007

OK this name (Ricain, Rosbif et Fils) is not very good, apparently. ricain and rosbif are terms that are dated, 80s sounding and naff*. Admittedly, it was a name that was conceived at extremely late notice and one gets what one deserves under such conditions.

So, what to do...

I am once again a damsel in distress: but this time no longer one who is languishing in her Enchanted Tower of No Escape, glamorously lolling around, brushing her long golden hair etc.
No, I am now in the entirely unglamorous situation of being a half-rescued** damsel; shabby-haired and alone, wandering blindly about in a Haunted Forest of Doubt.

Digging desperately around the undergrowth for name ideas I unearth the following:

Dipshit, Dipshit and Mong
Cuntly, Tardson and Associates
French Connection Ur all Kunts
IN UR GAME, FIXIN UR ENGLISH

or the Web 2.0 -friendly, duosyllabic:

Mongster
CuntProd
PrickFlop
NoobJuice
PorkSod
PluckPube
SlashDork
FishThong
TardFrot
NitSoap
FishPox
PusBomb
SadFuck

etc.

Of course, I have also noted the trend towards basing start-up company names on cloyingly cute and astoundingly irrelevant animal themes (presumably to make the logo-designer's job easier). I've thought up some of my own:

Feisty Maggot
Ant, Magnifying Glass & Friends
Humpy Dog
Chimp Fister
Injured Pigeon
Beatle Mash
Crunchy Kitten


or something French animal themed:
Crispy Frog Design
Force-Fed Games
etc.


And as I like to be ahead of trends, I have workshopped sexually transmitted disease themed company names as well.*

Spotty Mojo
Blood & Custard
Love and Rash
(an obvious reference to anarcho-syndicalism in this one)

etc.



Please can people comment to tell me if I'm on the right track with these names. I wouldn't want to end up with a bad one.



* according to very same knight in shining armour who suggested them. Admitting defeat, he has now laid down his sword and has gone off the tavern for an ale.

** and, of course, half eternally grateful

*** It's quite probably the next major trend in start-up company names. And WIRED magazine may quote me on that.

5 Comments:

At 6:53 pm, Blogger Ben.H said...

I once had plans to open a gourmet cheese shop. I was going to call it "Cheeses Christ".

While in Australia I briefly considered setting up a home-delivered curry service named "No Wuckin Curries".

Now that food retail seems too high-risk an investment for my tastes, you are more than welcome to use either of these names. See you for dinner tonight?

Also, "Crispy Frog" is way too close to a Monty Python reference.

 
At 7:10 pm, Blogger Kipper said...

Cheeses Christ... that's genius.

Already bunkered down for a long night in the office with an M&S ready meal :-(

 
At 12:27 am, Blogger Fi Fi Abroad said...

www.gameover.com
www.gameon.com
www.funandgames.com
www.youbigfatcheat.com
www.playon.com
www.pressplaytobegin.com
www.moveitorloseit.com
www.sinbin.com
www.playbytherules.com
www.loser.com
www.noonerememberssecondplace.com
www.yourout.com
www.thesandpit.com

 
At 12:33 am, Blogger Fi Fi Abroad said...

Actually, going by your earlier post and what we discussed last night...I'm leaning towards @Galaxy Games. Cheesy, but memorable

 
At 1:10 am, Blogger Conor said...

FishPox and Blood & Custard are both winners!

 

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