Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A friend emailed me in response to my last post. He writes:

"I can't post comments on your blog, because I'm too stupid to remember my username. So I email it to you here:

It might not be work safe, but enjoy.

And while we're on the subject of the strange world of The Gym, I would like to make several observations.

First, the weights room of a gym is a relatively female-free zone. Being a chatty female gym n00b in such a zone has the potential to upset the testosteroney vibe.

Me: "Every time I come to the gym you're here, and when I leave you're still here. Are you addicted to weightlifting or something?"

Boy: "No no, I'm training to get stronger."

"You're already pretty damned muscle-y. Why do you need to be more muscle-y?"

"It's useful for, you know, life and stuff."

"What part of life? You work in an office, don't you?"

"Well... like moving house."

"Like moving house. Uh-huh..."

Beware the man who picks you up in a gym. It is highly likely that he is a kind of man who goes to gyms.

Boy: "So you're going back to France in June, right? In that case you'll need to practise your French. Let's go for a drink sometime, and you can practise your French on me."

Me: "OK. You'll help me practise my French. Thanks."

Never believe a French guy who says he wants to help you practice your French. Never.

Me: "We can't go back to my place tonight. Seriously, I live in a shed with ducks. Let's go back to your place instead."
Boy: "No, we can't. My place is a mess."
"Yeah maybe, but I live in a shed. With ducks."

Always believe me even when what I say seems implausible. Always.

"I don't know how you can find stuff in here."

"Hey, come on, I warned you I live in a shed, OK?"

Still later:
"Look! Look at those ducks tapping on the window and staring at us!!"

"Yup. I did say there'd be ducks."

... ...

Boy: "Why are you poking me?"

Me: "I'm trying to find some fat. It's amazing. You don't seem to have any fat anywhere on your body. It's all rock hard."

"Yeah, well I work out."

"I know, but it's weird. It's like being in bed with a surfboard."

"I've got to go now. I've got a 80km bike ride this morning."

"I can imagine. OK, have fun!"


At 1:44 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That thing about practicing French... Kevin does that.

At 7:46 am, Anonymous Tim said...

hooray for surfboards in bed!

At 7:11 am, Blogger Foozwah said...

Surely there was a less circuitous way to inform your faithful readers that you have been having teh sexxor action? ;-)


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home