Saturday, August 02, 2008

Can I just clarify something: I am NOT internet dating.

Holy mother of Jesus, people!! How could you possibly think that?

Internet dating is like being gay: there is nothing wrong with internet dating, and some of my best friends are internet dating. But it's Truth that's at stake here, and in the name of Truth let it be known that *I* am not internet dating!

Some of you, however, are clearly languishing under the misconception that I am.

"How's your internet dating going?"

"Where did you get the idea that I'm internet dating, ffs*!!!"

"On your blog."

"The post where I said that I'm the Cyrano de Bergerac of the internet dating scene? Good God, man - do you not know who Cyrano de Bergerac was?!"

"Yeah, but he did actually get some dating action at the end of the story. So I thought you were-"

"You mean when Roxanne found out it was him at the end? But that hardly counts! It's not as if they *dated*! They were all old and dying!"


"Are you saying I'm old?!"


I am not internet dating. I am merely volunteering in the capacity of an internet dating image consultant. Honestly, people - get a grip!!

Cyrano de Bergerac would defend my honour on this question, had he a time machine

* that's IM short-hand"for fuck's sake", for the benefit of the acronymically-challenged


At 4:28 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is I who is the Christian - lacking words and needing Cyrano's services. Cruel world that you should be mocked for my failings...

At 3:32 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A subtle semantic point, I feel. Is vicarious Internet Dating still Internet Dating?


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