Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I have received another request for my advice on a problem. Keep them flowing in, readers.

The Rantolotl writes:

When one takes the lazy option of downloading a 'free' template for a CMS from a supposedly reputable template vendor (who obviously sell a large percentage of their designs as well as offering hosting for said templates), and finds several of the most basic cock ups in html and cms coding, pretty much eradicating the time benefit you were planning on by spending many hours tracking down bugs and fixing them, what should one do?

In short, these bastards managed to waste several hours of my life by sheer incompetence - how should I go about getting those hours back?

Well, Rantotl that's the thing about time: once it's spent you can't just take it back to God's shop* for a refund.

What you can do, however, is take revenge against those who were responsible for the wasting of said time. I suggest a round public shaming of the company via online discussion boards, with scathing insults thinly veiled as helpful warnings and bug reports. For example:

hey there peops, just something to watch out for when you're using template x from company y etc

Translation: These cunts are rank amateurs. Don't use their templates - they're rubbish.

or (on the company's own forum) :

hey company x guys, i've been using your x template (thanks!) and I thought you might want to be aware of these bugs on lines 1, 23, 54, 64, 83, 90, 91, 100, 105 [etc.] of the script

Translation: You cunts are rank amateurs. You cunts.

Arguably, this will use up even more of your precious time, time that could otherwise be spent productively.

But so what? Down with the notion that all of one's time should be spent productively. Up with the concept of "leisure time".

Most people set non-productive time aside to indulge in a relaxing massage, a swim at the beach, World of Warcraft, a visit to a museum, and so on and so forth. I would argue that a vigilante-style flame war against culpable individuals and organisations on the internet is also a perfectly legitimate leisure activity, and one from which it is possible to derive no small degree of pleasure.

And upon writing of the joys of a good ol' public shaming of the iniquitous, I am reminded of some unreconfigured fucktards I dealt with recently. To wit,  a French online vendor called Ubaldi. I will be describing my Kafkaesque  encounter with this company at a later date.

* by "God's shop" I am of course referring to God and Son's Celestial Bargain Warehouse - "Satisfaction guaranteed - or you burn in hell for all eternity".


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